


The Swear Jar

by BigFootGirl



Series: The Swearing Jar [2]
Category: Batman (Comics)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-04-13
Updated: 2012-04-13
Packaged: 2018-03-19 19:34:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,295
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3621711
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BigFootGirl/pseuds/BigFootGirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A prequel of sorts to "Breakfast at Wayne Manor."</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Swear Jar

Jason Todd, second son of Bruce Wayne, second Robin, and currently the vigilante known as Red Hood, had not had a good night, crime-fighting or otherwise. He had been trailing a group of human traffickers by himself for the last two weeks and had finally found the weak link in this particular group’s chain. Unfortunately, they had also found _his_ weak point and, when he had gone in for the kill, had gotten a chest full of lead for his efforts.

Never mind that he had a high tech suit with body armor designed to protect its wearer from bullets by way of a special gel (he really didn’t remember much from Babs’ lecture when she’d shown him the suit, he was too busy trying not to look down her shirt), he had just discovered the point at which the armor stopped protecting and had ended up being saved by his brothers. Not just one brother, but _two_ ; Batman and Robin, the current Dynamic Duo. He woke up an hour later in the Bat Bunker with several new wounds, a transfusion, a headache, and a bruised ego that hurt worse than his newest injuries, _plus_ Alfred standing over him telling him that he would be staying in the Wayne Tower penthouse until the Englishman was sure that the now-red head’s wounds were healing properly. No, it had not been a good night.

Shaking his head from the direction that his thoughts had drifted to, he stopped when he entered the kitchen and spotted a mason jar that had been painted bright pink with a piece of paper taped to its exterior. Getting closer, he realized that what he had assumed were wavy lines was really his older brother’s chicken scratch. It read “Swear Jar” and in smaller print, “$1 for every swear word. Yes, _EVERY SWEAR WORD._ ” Said older brother was explaining the jar to two of their younger siblings, Cassie and Damian.

“So you see, for every bad word someone says, they have to pay one dollar.” Cassie nodded in understanding as she examined the list of banished expletives that Dick had taped to another side of the jar’s exterior. Damian just made a sound as if the jar hadn’t been explicitly created because of his own habit of swearing. Dick looked up and spotted his successor to the Robin name and called him over.

“Remember this?” he asked as he took the jar from his sister and handed it to the newcomer. Jason examined the jar closer and realized that it was the same one that Alfred had instituted after Bruce had taken Jason in as his ward. He saw the nick at the lip of the jar that had resulted from Jason throwing a Batarang at it when he was 12 and had let out a long string of curse words after being grounded for stealing the Batmobile and going on a joy ride.

“I can’t believe you still have this.”

“Well, I thought since Little D here has trouble understanding that 10 year olds should not know certain words and should not use such words in front of certain people, that it was time to reintroduce the Jar.”

When Dick had first learned of the Jar’s existence years earlier, he had convinced Alfred to let him paint it its current lurid shade of pink so that people would notice it when they walked in and realize that some things would not be tolerated. Roy had learned this the hard way once when he and Dick had stayed over the night after having gone head to head with a Titans rogue and the two had been too tired to make the trip back to New York at 4 in the morning (the phrase had been ‘fucking a-’ when Alfred handed him the jar and left 19 year old Dick to explain its significance to Red Arrow [who would later never admit that he had created one for himself after being given his daughter]).

Cassie, who had been going over the list of banished words and had, over the years since being adopted into the Wayne family, started to develop a wicked and mischievous sense of humor, turned back to her brothers. “There are many words here not in English. What if I sign them?”

“Then you’d still have to pay. Just ask Jaybird here.”

Jason sighed and decided how to explain without having to stuff any of his money in the Jar as he was questioned by his sister. “I tried to sign my…displeasure…at one of Bruce’s…decisions. Alfred made me pay ten bucks _and_ I was grounded for a week. I wouldn’t recommend it.”

After a moment, he added in a whisper, “But it might not hurt if you signed them in some language that no one else can sign. Just saying.”

Cassie nodded her understanding before replacing the jar and turning to the breakfast that Alfred had left for them before leaving to run errands. Her brothers retrieved their own covered dishes and joined her at the penthouse’s kitchen table. As they dug into their respective meals, Jason turned back to his older brother.

“So, what are you going to buy with the money this time?”

Swallowing a mouthful of coffee, Dick answered, “I’m thinking a nice dinner some night. Remember the pizza night Alfie let us have? I think that would be fun; Damian, you can invite Colin, have some normal 10 year olds’ fun. Whaddaya say to that?”

Damian swallowed his own biteful of breakfast before giving his guardian a glare that said “Why the hell would I do that?” and took another bite of the whole grain waffle that the butler had instructed, and Dick had upheld, was to be consumed by the newest Robin.

“So…?”

Dick turned back to his immediate successor, “Oh, you know, just have a pizza and movie night sometime and end up watching whatever he won’t complain too much about.”

“Can it be pepper-oni and saus-age with anchoves?” Cassie asked carefully around her yogurt.

“Pepperoni, sausage, and anchovies? Yeah, I think we can do that,” Dick answered, pointedly ignoring the look Jason gave him at the listing of their little sister’s favorite pizza toppings. She had obviously been hanging out with Dickie-bird too long; anchovies had always been a Dick favorite. Much to everyone else’s consternation.

Damian silently fumed. He did not think it necessary to have to put money into a pink-painted jar just because of a few words he might choose to say. And surely the more dangerous of his so-called “brothers” would not enforce this new rule. Besides, everyone knew that cheese pizza with bell and jalapeno peppers, olives, and mushrooms was the best. What did these people that claimed, but whom he could not justify the rationale behind, to be his family know about words or food. He was so consumed in his thoughts that he almost missed Dick’s next words.

“Why don’t we have a night in? Forecast is calling for thunderstorms tonight, Timmy’s getting in at 6, and we have all the ingredients for make your own pizza night.”

“Fine,” came two grumbled answers as Cassie nodded her agreement.

“It’s settled! And don’t forget Alfred’s rule about swearing while watching movies.”

“Shhhhhh-sugar, you forget one time and suddenly it’s all anyone says when Bat-movie night is announced. You’re not getting any of my money, Grayson.”

“Yeah, well…”

Breakfast was soon finished and the siblings went their separate ways for the rest of the day. When Alfred came back, he discovered 30 dollars with a note attached,

“Movie night tonight. Just in case.-J”

Alfred smiled, glad that for once that the youngsters would be in and getting along without a need for violence. Maybe.


End file.
